This is bloody difficult, semi-drunkenly I thought it would be a grand idea to put all my nonsense writings up on the internet just to pester all those Google-monkeys out there. I've got to pick a semi-coherant title and a URL too! All I can think of is Colonel Custard and Lieutenant Lee Lemon, and that has nothing to do with my name or my writing, although I do like food… maybe this could work after all.
Edit: I can't even find a picture of myself that doesn't make me look like one of my invented characters mentioned earlier.
And yes, I always say 'grand' after a glass of wine.
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