Dr. Deadline

It is deadline time, the libraries are full, energy drink shares are through the roof and as you walk around campus, students red-eyed and emanating the essence-du-café stumble and bump into one another like ants blinded by the weight of words after words scrolling across their eyes. The outline of a blank page haunts them at night as the pitter patter of rain becomes fingers on keys, the pace racing as four o'clock approaches. 

'How many words you got?'

'Lets go for a drink once this is all handed in. God I need a drink.'

'Did you hear that so-and-so hasn't even started (thank god I'm not the worst off).' 

It is the night before the assignment is due, 11.55pm, some students will have been finished for days, others may be completing their final check and others will be just starting. Often I will be sitting staring blankly at the computer, my mind questioning how many coffees and energy drinks I've had, wondering whether one more wouldn't hurt before deciding tea is better; jittery fingers don't type as well. 

I am past the blank page syndrome, usually by writing nonsense for half an hour that I will edit out later, it got rid off that terrifying and consuming blankness though. I am past the point of feeling good about the essay knowing that being on the right track is what matters. I've lost and regained my focus, for a moment I doubted I was answering the question but I'm over that; I can always adapt the question to the essay later. I am at the stage of not really caring that much but feigning confidence and wishing I had given myself more time - 'Never again, next time I will give myself loads of extra time and I'll write a perfect essay. I could be getting a first if I put as much effort into this as I put into anything else I do.' 

My thoughts echo across campus, picking up strength as others quote the age-old mantra 'Next time… plan ahead… focus… switch off the internet… how do I spell…' building and building, gaining strength, swirling above the city, the country.

The maelstrom of thoughts chase each other up into the air, reaching the brown brogues of a small figure, the corduroys lead on to a hunched and cardigan adorned torso, a grey beard changes shape as the face of the Professor cracks into a smile, 

'Till next year my pretty's...'

Party Pictures

I've discovered that I should not take pictures at parties, or at least not after four cans of cheap Polish party-fodder, two bottles of something else beer-like and apple Sourz, and maybe a long-vodka. I don't remember.

Either way, last saturday was no exception and I've discovered that my pictures fall into three categories.

1. The Blur

While it can be intriguing trying to figure out what is there, there is no real enjoyment in perusing these, or documentary value in their portrayal of the night...

It was a Christmas Party. In March. I knew that already. What are those odd colours near the bottom? Is that an ear? I know it was a silly night but how bad was it at this early time?

Although to be honest, using 35mm film still makes most blurry shots look pretty good, which is why I have some serious issues deciding whether to keep them or not. I feel like they hold on to some character of the night out, at least on film they do and if I delete them my inner hoarder might start crying.



2. The Multi-Shot

I bought my Panasonic Lumix DMC-TZ7 for a few reasons. It's better than a point-and-shoot but not as complex or perhaps daunting (to a complete photo newbie at least) as an SLR, it also helped that I had been using my friends TZ6 (or something) for the previous six months travelling, it was fantastically easy and you got good results. Not to mention the wide-angle lens and the 'Starry Sky' setting that allowed you to take long-exposure images for up to a minute!

Drinking looks so much cooler!

Devil Horns are still cool right?

Before you think this is just an advert for Panasonic there is a point to this rambling camera-love

I loved the possibility of shooting multiple shots in fairly rapid succession and 1.8 frames per second won me over. 

Let me set the scene a little:

I wake up. Bedfellows of empty take-out boxes match my goatee of processed cheese. Stumbling, my still-drunk legs carry me to sustenance and as the bacon fat effervesces off the hot grill I slide the SD card into my laptop. Click the icon.

WHAM!

I'm smacked in the face with the full force of a night that makes those Matrix fellows look trigger-sad. Although much like every evil henchman ever made by ACME Industries, I never hit anything.

To say I take a lot of pointless photos under the influence is an understatement. Capturing the perfect moment of everyone doing the Macarena. Okay I know that in itself is an oxymoron but nonetheless that is what I was doing on Saturday. And now I have endless photos that look like this:

Whoa! This madness is so exciting I must take a hundred photos!

Seriously, I would show you more but they are honestly all the same and I think it might be considered abuse if I were to show you a gif...

What I intended to do now was take the piss out of the pointlessness of my photo-taking. Unfortunately I have failed miserably because I found this hilarious, and it actually kinda captures the madness. Oh well, lets return to my original thought-train...

I also know that I have an immense amount of unsorted photos in a similar vein that I promised to go through later, and never have. As you can imagine, this is very annoying for someone who likes to have their folders and photos in order, organised by location and date. Go on, relish in my discomfort.

Yet worry for my insomnia as I search out all of the other instances of said photos and turn them into hilariously personal gifs. Please, make sure I leave the house this week.

3. The 'Artistic'

These images often stem from my natural curiosity in taking pictures from weird angles. I didn't know I enjoyed photography until I saw the photos that came out really well, of course there was always the excitement of getting films developed but this was different because I'd seen the picture I was looking for and finding it prettily reconfigured on the gorgeous pixels of some 90's spec computer just made me excited and desperate to take more. Unfortunately this continued when I started drinking.

But back to the weird angles, when your drunk you think they look amazing, the most beautifully artistic collection of shapes, shadows, straight and curved lines, all coming together to form a stylistic comment on nights out, friendship and spontaneity.

In reality it's just rubbish.
Like this...

'See? You're all reflected and reflective and stuff!'

But then sometimes you get lucky. My first SLR cost only £20, was a Nikon F60, and got me called a hipster, but boy did have I had fun with it.

I grabbed it ecstatically as we left the comfort of a borrowed apartment and went in search for the fireworks. The New Year Fireworks. In the mountains. You can see why I was ecstatic. I took a photo or two, and then the shutter jammed. I was a little disappointed because then I had no way of taking further awesome photos, I just kept winding and snapping without response.

The wait was horrendous, I had several films from my Christmas travels but I was too busy to get them developed. And when they came out I wholly expected to find so many terrible ones. And I did, that's part of the reason why I'm writing this right now. But, I did discover some gems, like this one... 

A completely accidental multiple exposure that did indeed capture all the excitement and entertainment of a great night and great friends.

Oh, and make that four different types of photo I end up with.

4. The ones where you weren't behind the viewfinder.

I claim no responsibility for many, many pictures of pandas on my camera. But I will try to make it funny given the opportunity...

I swear it was only out of my hands for a short while. I guess she gets the closing note. She's coming to eat you...