I went for a ride today. My two-wheeled demon of delight delivered me through the forests of Templeton, over root and through mud, my smile grew. An explosion of brush up ahead drew my attention and I took a moment to relish in the sight of a deer bounding through the trees before saying- 'Alright, let's race!'
Despite how silly it sounds I'm often interrupted mid-ride by all manner of animals that I had previously forgot reside so close to the city. It prompts childish excitement and wonderment, but then exercise does the weirdest things to people.
Seven months ago I left my job at Debenhams for one of the weirdest opportunities I'd come across, a few posts ago you may remember my indefatigable enthusiasm and confidence for the new job I was proudly strutting into. What I was yet to realise was the powerful yet dishonest role that confidence has in life. Oddly enough I met more people who'd gone through the same desire for work that was unhealthily combined with low self-esteem.
Cheerfully I can look back and realise just how positive the learning curve was. Getting into the office at ten, dreading the effort of the facade and willing myself to be a bright, energetic and a positive salesperson. Running through cul-de-sacs, smart shoes pounding the pavement as my Red-Cross bib flaps in the wind, thinking about how positively I can introduce myself at the next door. Running back to a bus as seven wondering if all that lying was worth the fifty quid I might have earned that day. Getting back to the office for another few hours of repeating their brainwashing mantras: '5 Steps to a Conversation' and all the other shite. I really miss getting home at eleven mentally and phyiscally exhausted, convinced that this was excellent, confident, inspiring work that in no way involved me pretending I was someone I wasn't.
So there I was fighting with myself. Would it be worth acting as someone else, learning to deceive myself for the possibility of £150 a day, my own business in just under a year, convincing people to take out direct debits for charities, utilities and whatever else is worth the efforts of this Pyramid Scheme madness. I know I'm overly dramatic but ultimately I feel it really healthy to have been so drastically exposed to something I was not expecting and something that seemingly influenced me so strongly.
Most importantly I came out of it positively. Sure, the day I quit I lay in bed, I cried, I relished the ability to just sit down all day and choose to do something and have the time to do anything without desiring my bed!
A few days later I'd got sick of my laziness and struck out with my new found confidence. To bolster my self esteem I headed back to St Andrews, having worked there before I figured that if I was to work in a service industry, I might as well aim for kindly customers. I walked confidently around the small city garnering positive response after positive response. And then I walked into BlackHorn where Storm, yes Storm, basically hired me on the spot. After a short interview the next day which essentially confirmed how much I would be getting paid and how many hours I could work a week I was all set!
So now I manage a small eatery that makes the best burgers I've ever eaten and hires the best colleagues I've ever worked with. It's challenging in the right ways and it has a lot of scope for expansion and a development of my own understanding of a small business. Oh and I just got a pay rise... Happy Days!
Cheerfully I can look back and realise just how positive the learning curve was. Getting into the office at ten, dreading the effort of the facade and willing myself to be a bright, energetic and a positive salesperson. Running through cul-de-sacs, smart shoes pounding the pavement as my Red-Cross bib flaps in the wind, thinking about how positively I can introduce myself at the next door. Running back to a bus as seven wondering if all that lying was worth the fifty quid I might have earned that day. Getting back to the office for another few hours of repeating their brainwashing mantras: '5 Steps to a Conversation' and all the other shite. I really miss getting home at eleven mentally and phyiscally exhausted, convinced that this was excellent, confident, inspiring work that in no way involved me pretending I was someone I wasn't.
So there I was fighting with myself. Would it be worth acting as someone else, learning to deceive myself for the possibility of £150 a day, my own business in just under a year, convincing people to take out direct debits for charities, utilities and whatever else is worth the efforts of this Pyramid Scheme madness. I know I'm overly dramatic but ultimately I feel it really healthy to have been so drastically exposed to something I was not expecting and something that seemingly influenced me so strongly.
Most importantly I came out of it positively. Sure, the day I quit I lay in bed, I cried, I relished the ability to just sit down all day and choose to do something and have the time to do anything without desiring my bed!
A few days later I'd got sick of my laziness and struck out with my new found confidence. To bolster my self esteem I headed back to St Andrews, having worked there before I figured that if I was to work in a service industry, I might as well aim for kindly customers. I walked confidently around the small city garnering positive response after positive response. And then I walked into BlackHorn where Storm, yes Storm, basically hired me on the spot. After a short interview the next day which essentially confirmed how much I would be getting paid and how many hours I could work a week I was all set!
So now I manage a small eatery that makes the best burgers I've ever eaten and hires the best colleagues I've ever worked with. It's challenging in the right ways and it has a lot of scope for expansion and a development of my own understanding of a small business. Oh and I just got a pay rise... Happy Days!
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