Marriage, Mr Mars, and Me

So I'm obviously on a musically-related tippity-tapping-typing frenzy today because I'm at it again, this time the delightful recipient of my well-educated self is Bruno Mars - Marry You.

Bruno Mars can blame the nice executive at Debenhams, or whoever chose the playlist that repeats all day long at my recently acquired job as 'Food Services Adviser', I don't even need to invent a snazzy title for my CV, they've amped up my job-title already!

But anyway, without this repetition I would never have reached the point of actually listening to the lyrics; it's a nice enough tune and suitably boppy to accompany the serving of customers. But I have reached the point at any job where I suddenly wake up and the music is already playing in my head, while this is annoying it's nowhere near as annoying as the bagpipes that plagued my previous position:

I can't even press play to check it works for fear of the Cashmere-Cave memories.

Back to Bruno though

It's a beautiful night,

Okay, nothing wrong here, scene setting is just fine if a little cliched.

We're looking for something dumb to do,

Yup, normal premise for a song written by rich people with nothing to do...

Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you.

What?! Where did that come from? I can imagine the normal response to this would be:

'You think you want to marry me, sorry wanna marry me? Why don't you try asking me properly first and then I might think about it. You might also want to revise the think, it doesn't really inspire confidence.'

Can you imagine Mr Mars asking the girl's father for her hand in marriage?

'Hey old man, how's it hangin'? You know, I'm gonna get with your girl, you know, the deal with the rings and that banging organ tune? Only if that's cool with you of course?'

'You got any ginger ale I can have with this?'

I think that young gentleman would be tossed out onto his rear-parts rather sharpish.


In the second verse the plot thickens, it appears this young chap doesn't know whether it is the look in her eyes or the dancing juice that makes him want to do the dumb thing and marry her. We all know that vision is a good trait to look for in a mate but should it be the only thing you consider alongside dancing juice? Which, if it's not alcohol, I'm desperately trying to think up a funny alternative that it could be. Google tells me it's ginger ale and rum but I prefer to imagine this...

'Dancing juice? I thought you said...'

Continuing with the theme of providing good reasons to marry Mr Mars suggests

Who cares if we're trashed? Got a pocket full of cash we can blow oh, oh, oh,

Sound reasoning right there, but just in case the ladies aren't convinced he just tells them

Don't say no, no, no, no-no,
Just say yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah.

'Okay Mr Mars, whatever you say! I'm sure you're serious about this, the repetition told me so!'

And the icing on the cake? Amongst further repetitions of the stupidity of this whole marriage idea (the chorus), Bruno reveals his true motives:

If you wake up and wanna break up that's cool.
No I won't blame you;
It was fun girl.

Well that's just fine. It was all an (barely) elaborate ruse to get this lady in the sack.

Kinda feel sorry for anyone who decides to start their life together on this premise...

I'm told a lot of his music is as cleverly written and insightful as this. I hope for my few readers that I do not come into contact with it because there could be a whole lot more blog posts like this.

Musical Musing

I'm continually fascinated with my attitude towards music, so much of it has been associated with an ideology like Punk, or developed a rivalry; the rock kids vs. the rap kids. Now that I'm older and ultimately wiser (allegedly) I have given all this up and I simply listen to whatever I like, whatever the genre or influence. Like this!

The Cat Empire - Brighter Than Gold

This next song shot me back to being eleven or twelve, constantly trading seats in front of the computer as my friend and I tried to collect all the letters to make up the word SKATE, this was my first introduction to Tony Hawks Pro Skater.

Millencolin - No Cigar

And this has opened a can of worms; most of my teenage music comes down to one man. Tony Hawks, not the comedian who hitchhiked round Ireland with a fridge,  but the first man to land a 900 on a skateboard, The Birdman.

Not happy with his already legendary status he gets other amazing athletes to join in and invent the next most awesome olympic sport, skateboarding doubles...

I suppose in reality it was the gaming franchise that dominated the minds of young teenagers the world over and for that we have to thank Neversoft, a company that made thousands of teenagers cheer with enjoyment as we saw the new way in which their logo grotesquely imprinted itself in our memories forever.

And now thanks to YouTube you can watch them all here. They are even immortalised in the world of Call of Duty and teenager's call-signs all over the world.

Next song on the YouTube-Memory-Lane-Spectacular?

Goldfinger - Superman

The list goes on and on, ollieing from one game to the next, my musical development crafted by a computer game. I love how simple it is to invoke those memories, the frustration as you tried to complete challenges, and the sheer joy as you succeeded. The contrast between these joypad-hurling moments and the moments where tears of relief stream down your face is genuinely one of the reasons I play video-games... perhaps that isn't too healthy, it did after all lead on to this...

CKY - 96 Quite Bitter Beings

The world of CKY videos, Jackass, and eventually the brutal Welsh equivalent Dirty Sanchez (really, really NSFW). I suppose it was the true rise of fame-for-idiocy, but then You've Been Framed was always far too tame anyway.

Perhaps it is a little worrying that I was so clearly influenced by product placement. but then again it's also nice to be able to relive those memories via the simplicity of YouTube suggestions, and now I'm lost in a haze of nostalgia... OK, playlist's finished, I think I'm done now.